You’re Not a Loser

WHAT YOU AREN’T - Chapter 3

Losing.

Nobody likes it.

Sure, with experience we can learn to handle it with a little grace. But it still stings.

The thing that really cuts deep (and often leaves a disfiguring scar) is the label.

Loser.

It's a sneering, nasty put-down. And there isn't a single soul on the planet that deserves it. (Labels are for clothes, containers and canning jars, not people.)

The One who created us doesn't denigrate, discriminate or disparage. And he doesn't want anyone to be (or even feel) defeated. 

Ever.

More than 50,000 people typically finish the New York marathon each year, but only one wins the race. Are the rest... losers? Of course not.

Why?

Because they ran. And, most... finished. 

The truth is, no one gets an exemption from setbacks, disappointments or failure. Anybody who's lived past kindergarten has experienced them. Plenty.

But those experiences shouldn’t define us. They can shape us, yes. (In the best possible way when they develop in us resilience, humility, grit, gratitude.)

But failing at something doesn’t make you a failure.

Failing gives us an opportunity to reevaluate, readjust, regroup… and get moving again.

I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead. I run toward the goal, so I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done. (Philippians 3:12-14, CEV)

We’ve got to move past our setbacks and disappointments and failures. Otherwise, we’ll get weighed down/waylaid/dragged into a pit of despair.

And prison of defeat. 

I have more troubles than I can count. My sins are all around me, and I can’t find my way. My sins outnumber the hairs on my head, and I feel weak. Please show that you care and come to my rescue. Hurry and help me! (Psalm 40: 11-13, CEV)

What we need to remember - even in our lowest moments, our most epic failures - is this: there’s Someone willing and waiting to help. All we have to do is ask. 

I patiently waited, Lord,  for you to hear my prayer. You listened and pulled me from a lonely pit full of mud and mire. You let me stand on a rock with my feet firm, and you gave me a new song, a song of praise to you. Many will see this, and they will honor and trust you, the Lord God. (Psalm 40:1-3, CEV)

Not only do our struggles, shortcomings and failures not define us. In his mysterious, masterful plan, God can use them - use us - to demonstrate his compassion, power, mercy, lovingkindness. See, when we live our lives with honesty and humility, that’s when our faith becomes most magnetic; our lives become most fruitful.

Our hurting world doesn’t need another example of somebody who’s got it all together and whose life seems picture-perfect (adventurous, romantic, successful, gorgeous). Because that example is just filtered, photoshopped fiction. 

That person, that life… isn’t real.

And all that fake out there on social media? Turns out it’s highly toxic. 

Because the truth is, we’ve all got problems. Messy backstories, bad habits, difficult relationships, nagging fears… and regrets. 

Life is hard. 

For hardship does not spring from the soil, nor does trouble sprout from the ground. Yet man is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upward. (Job 5:6-7, NIV)

Trouble, pain, loss. They're unavoidable. 

Ever lose something really valuable? A special photograph? A piece of jewelry? Your wallet/phone/keys? 

Or perhaps your loss was even greater, more devastating. 

All of your belongings in a house fire. 

A person you dearly love.

Maybe you’re someone whose losses are so great you fear you’ll never feel anything but bereft. Maybe you feel like that kind of loser.

Loss is a fact of life, an inevitability. 

It’s not a matter of if you’re going to lose something or someone precious. It’s when.

But… (and this is one of those big “buts…”)

In light of eternity, our losses are temporary.

(That doesn’t mean they don’t inflict suffering or sorrow. It just means it won’t last forever.)

This isn’t our real home. It’s not heaven. In fact, this life is as close to hell as we’ll ever get, thanks to Jesus.

And when we breathe our last, we will suddenly be - finally, fully - alive. 

Whole.

Holy.

Home.

The ravages of sin and sorrow and death will be reversed. Our losses will be recouped. Our broken hearts and broken lives will be restored. 

Re-storied, as Pete Greig would say.

Made new. 

O Death, where is your victory? Death, where is your sting?

We already know what happens at the end of the book. We’ve been given an advance copy, and we can read the last chapter. 

Jesus wins. 

And along with him, we do, too. 

But thank God for letting the Lord Jesus Christ give us the victory! (1 Corinthians 15:57, CEV)

When Jesus returns, victory is sure. 

If you’re on his side, you simply cannot lose. 

Winning is your destiny.

And the prize promises to be…

Heavenly.

Text copyright © 2026 by Wendy Beth Holtz